One Week

Today Thomas would be one week old.  I don't understand how one week can feel like a lifetime and also a blink of an eye.

We laid flowers on his grave and talked to the mortuary about his headstone... things I never thought I would be having to plan for my son.

I decided that today would be good as any other to put his clothes, and gear away.  While I folded his little clothes, and blankets I couldn't believe that we wouldn't be needing them.  Right now it is practically impossible to believe that this really happened.  I think about him from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep.  I haven't dreamt about him yet, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to yet.

Yesterday it became unbearable to be at home.  We took a drive through the canyons, and it cleared my head.  Being up in the mountains with the fresh air is what I needed.

We are going to go camping next week. Originally I was going to be induced on the 24th and I already know it is going to be a hard day.  It will be nice to get away.