Follow Me

There is a Muse song called "Follow Me".  The lead singer wrote it for his song, and when I was pregnant with Thomas I would always think about him and Ellie and how I would do anything to protect them and keep them safe. 

Then the unimaginable happened and we lost Thomas. 

I was walking the other morning and that song came on.  I instantly teared up because the beginning of the song features the heartbeat of his son... the heartbeat that I kept willing myself to hear at the hospital but could not be found.

I kept listening to it, and instead of feeling like it was song about me protecting my kids, it seemed more like a song about Thomas protecting me during this time. 

"When darkness falls And surrounds you.  
When you fall down, When you're scared And you're lost. 
Be brave, I'm coming to hold you now.
  When all your strength has gone And you feel wrong,
  Like your life has slipped away.
Follow me. You can follow me And i, i will not desert you now"

Sometimes the grief threatens to swallow me whole, and I feel like I'm going to die from a broken heart.  Then I get a sweet assurance of love from my Heavenly Father, and I know its also coming from my sweet Thomas. 

I know he will always be with us, and watch over us.