Sometimes I feel like people are judging me because I don't grieve in the open. I'm able to keep it together in public almost all the time and I feel like people think that I'm over Thomas, that I've moved on. The truth is so far from that. I'm still crying all the time, but I just do it at home, usually in the shower. I've never liked to get emotional in front of other people, even with Andy I've had to learn to let my emotions through.
I miss Thomas so much it hurts. I honestly have no idea how I get through the day, because there is just a huge gaping hole where Thomas should be.
If you see me and I seem happy, and like I don't have a care in the world, its just not true. I'm not saying I can't be happy, because I am a lot of the time, but don't think that I'm not carrying around this grief with me, because it is apart of who I am now.
I am the same way. Don't worry what other people think. You can grieve however you need to.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rachael--grieve how you need to. The post I sent you awhile ago, about Gina, she's mentioned some similar feelings on her blog recently. In case you need the link again, http://gidgetgoestorome.blogspot.com/.
ReplyDeleteHappy thoughts your way.
Do what you need to do to get to where you need to go. Everyone has their own way of moving on and there is no where that says you even have to. You are doing great. Your best (even if it's your best grieving) is enough. You're an example to us all!
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