When Thomas died we a lot of plans and decisions to make. Andy chose a funeral home from the list that they gave us in the hospital and the day I was discharged from the hospital we came home and saw Ellie, and then went to the funeral home. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. From the moment we stepped foot in the place it was the worst feeling. The man was just like a snake, trying to get all he could out of us. He even tried to Andy's parents, who had come with us, to buy plots from themselves. Who does that?
The spot where they bury babies is called "Baby Land", which we both didn't like. It was right next to the road, and when they were telling us how peaceful and serene it is, his words were drowned out by a loud car driving by.
I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I was ready to sign the paperwork because I was frankly not in the right state of mind to make those kind of decisions. Thankfully Andy was thinking more clearly than I was and told them that we would be going elsewhere.
After that horrible experience I was done. I just wanted to go home and sleep, I mean I had just had a baby the day before. Andy reminded me that even though we didn't want to make these decisions, we had to. We drove around looking at all the funeral homes on our list, I napped in the car, and Andy woke me up at the place we ended up burying Thomas.
It was such a different experience from the first place. It just felt that they were truly sorry for our lost and that they wished they we didn't have to be there to do this. It was a quiet, beautiful area and I am so grateful that that is where Thomas is buried.
So why do I bring this all up? Its been almost 8 months (on Wednesday). I've been watching "Friday Night Lights" and a character had a father die and they showed a funeral home taking advantage of his grief to make more money. It infuriated me all over again. I don't have a problem with people in this industry, on the contrary I feel indebted to the wonderful people that we worked with.
However, to people that feed on others grief, you make me sick. How can you see someone going through the death of a loved one and only see dollar signs? How can you ooze fake compassion and pretend empathy?
If you find yourself in this profession, don't be the vulture, be the guardian angel that makes an unbearable situation, a little easier to get through.
I'm so glad it ended up well. That's so terrible. You'd had a baby the day before! How dare they!?
ReplyDeleteHow can people like that sleep at night? They obviously AREN'T thinking about the family suffering. You did pick a beautiful spot though, I love how he's under that gorgeous tree. :)
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