Its real, its horrible, but you can do something about it.
For me, the hardest part has been realizing that I have been depressed. I'm embarrassed to say this, especially on a public forum, but I've gained some weight since we've moved to Florida. After Thomas I had lost the baby weight, and then some, but when we moved out here I gained back to extra weight I had lost. I haven't stepped on a scale in weeks and finally made myself do it, and when I did, I was shocked. I've never weighed this much, not counting pregnancy. It made me stop and look at my life and why this happened. Then it hit me, I'm depressed.
I've never wanted to admit this to myself but I had to come face to face with it. I guess I just didn't fully realize the impact of loosing Thomas, mixed with moving across from the country from every person that I know and I love and how much I was struggling with these two things.
Andy has been so incredibly supportive during all of this. He has given me amazing priesthood blessings, and picked up the slack the days when I can't seem to get myself to do much. I love him so much.
We recently had general conference for our church and there was a fantastic talk by Elder Holland. Life changing messages were given in this talk. He spoke about depression and other mental illnesses. I just want to put a few highlights down below.
"...and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."
"Above all, never loose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend."
"Hope is NEVER lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior's own anguished example: if the bitter up does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."
I know that the road to overcoming depression has lots of curves, and unexpected road blocks, but I know that with this gospel I can overcome anything.
 |
| I'm glad I've got this beam of sunshine |
Depression is a very normal reaction to situations we can't really handle. Don't worry about weight gain, you look awesome and your body is just trying to handle a situation that is super hard to handle. This isn't who you are, it's just a period of time. You are strong and loved.
ReplyDeleteTami! I know how hard mental illnesses can be, but it's true, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You've been through something so horrible and trying but the Savior is the only one who knows. Im so glad you have the Gospel in your life. I LOVED the talk from Elder Holland and so glad you loved it to! I love you and will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteTami. I listened again to that talk and he speaks the truth. I can't imagine what you are going through. I wish I could give you a never ending hug. At least know that I am thinking of you always. You can do it. I love you so much. Praying for you always.
Delete